Bye bye holidays!
Once upon a time I had 28 days holiday a year. I only took them to do shows or courses and one week for an actual holiday – maybe. But I always went back feeling refreshed.
Now I have more holidays than I know what to do with but I came back from a week off feeling shattered and a little depressed.
Part of it was all the preparation I was doing. I feel like I only had 2 days off and those were in the middle of last week. And part of it was my increasing paranoia that the longer I was away the more I would forget and the worse I would do when I got back.
It’s very easy to get paranoid just now. Several NQTs I’ve spoken to – across various schools and authorities – are feeling like they might have to pack it in and go work in a call centre. Its less money but its definitely less stress. Speaking to everyone I think I know why we’re feeling like this. The first term, the honeymoon period, is over. Bad habits and flaws are now being exposed and we’re trying to eradicate them. The interim report is looming and it’s a whole round of observations from the high and mighty in our departments and the whole school. Who wouldn’t feel stressed?
However, I have decided to have a new approach to my work.
Each lesson is a new opportunity to perfect the things I messed up on last time – little by little. Each day is a new chance to get things right for myself and for the pupils. And I feel much better than I did this morning because I was reminded, just by the atmosphere when walking into the school, that I am not alone. I am supported by my colleagues, my bosses and my family. I might not be able to get through this year – by WE can! 
